Lookin' At It This Way
by TheoreticallyEva
Summary: An opinion on the Fullmetal Alchemist boy and people in general, as given by the nice old man who develops photos in Central. One-shot, rated T for the brand of humor and a bit of feather-light cussing.


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**Author's note and disclaimer at the bottom. Doesn't matter whether you read it now or later. Those who just want the story can dig in. :)**

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**Lookin' At It This Way**

Ah'm comin', Ah'm comin', Ah—Oh! Well, welcome, Fuhrer! No, no, come in, come in. Oh, Ah'm finer'n frog hair split nine ways, thanks for askin'. Yeh're jus' a li'l bit early. Yehr pitchers're still dryin'. Jus' be a li'l longer.

Eh? No, no, y'can stay if yeh want. But don' yeh have a lot o' paperwork to do er somethin'?

No?

Yeh lyin'?

Yeh lyin'. Heheheh.

Yeah, sure, th'bathroom's back thataway. Help yehself.

Eh, don' worry so much, young miss. He's got 'is head on straight. He'll git 'er done.

Heheh. Well, jus' don't let _him_ hear yeh say that.

.... Yeh his girlfriend er somethin'?

All right, all right, Ah get it. Don' get yehr knickers in a knot. Jus' wonderin'. Yeh're a looker, if yeh don' mind me sayin' so. He'd be a damn fool t'pass yeh up.

Heheheh. If yeh say so.

Oh, nothin', Fuhrer, jus' commentin' on the business. Always boggles my mind, how much this world's changed in jus' a couple o' decades. Business was good when it was all black an' white pitchers, but it _really _picked up when th'color pitchers started showin' up. Was good before, but now Ah got business comin' out o' my—

Eh? Ehh, 'bout thirty years er so. Learned from my pop. Loved 'em pitchers. Miracles, he called 'em.

Yehr pitchers turned out good, by th'way.

Yeah, o' course Ah know th'Fullmetal Alchemist. Known 'im fer years. Used to be kind o' regular here. Where's he at nowadays?

_Raisin pool_? What the hell kind o' name is that?

Oh, _Resembool_. Ah see. Ain't heard of it. Well, maybe once er twice, come t'think of it. Must be one o' them smaller places. Ah always liked the city life, myself.

Eh? Yeah, firs' time Ah saw th'Fullmetal Alchemist was years ago. Years ago, prob'ly.... Ah dunno, 'bout five? He wasn' th'Fullmetal Alchemist then, though. Jus' another kid runnin' around, even beanier'n he is now.

Oh, don' worry, I won'. Ah saw what he did to a fella who called 'im that when he was in here waitin' for some pitchers couple years back. Heheheh. Good kid. Li'l hotheaded, but good kid. Ah'm sure he'll shoot up in no time.

Yeah, firs' time Ah saw 'im, he dropped off some pitchers. Ah remember 'em still. They were pitchers of 'im and another li'l boy, and a real pretty lady, looked like she coulda been their mother. Seemed like a happy family. Reminded me o' how much Ah missed my wife, bless her soul.

Eh, 'sall right, water under th'bridge. She passed a long time ago.

Anyway, when he came t'pick th'pitchers up that first time, Ah saw that silver watch in his hand. Ah say to 'im, "Boy, who'd yeh steal that from?" He gets all puffed up and mad and goes, "Ah ain't a thief! Ah earned this today! Ah'm a State Alchemist now, so there!" Somethin' like that. Anyway, Ah later heard 'bout a twelve-year-old kid becomin' a State Alchemist. Talk o' the town fer a while. Ah figgered it musta been that boy. Heheh. Funny kid.

Next time Ah saw 'im, it was with another guy what used to come 'round here every other day. Think they were jus' stoppin' here on th'way to someplace else at the time. Seemed pretty perturbed t'be stoppin' fer that guy to drop off 'is pitchers. Think Ah got more business from 'im than all th'other customers put t'gether. That was also the first time I saw that seven-foot-tall guy walkin' around with the kid, wearin' this ol' suit of armor from a _long_ time ago. Ah know, my grandfather loved 'em, collected 'em, Ah have one in the back somewhere. Don' know where that guy got it or why the hell he insisted on walkin' around in it when it was so hot that day, but yeh learn to jus' leave people be, yeh know? Ah saw them two together all the time after that. Ah wondered if it was his bodyguard er somethin'.

That other guy what used to come in all the time, though, he used to have me process roll after roll o' pitchers of 'is wife an' daughter. Now Ah know Ah can ramble on, but _this_ guy would talk yehr ear off if yeh weren' careful. Real good man, though. Pitchers always good, never hidin' anythin', same in person as he was in the pitchers. Same face no matter what. Good man. Was real disappointed when Ah saw in th'papers that he was murdered. Ah cried when th'reporter fer the paper brought in th'photos from th'funeral fer me to develop. Saw that li'l girl o' his cryin' on her mother's shoulder, reachin' fer 'im.... Jus' 'bout broke my heart fer good t'see those pitchers comin' up in th'darkroom. Ain't right, what happened to 'im. Come t'think of it, Ah saw yeh in those pitchers, too, Fuhrer. Did yeh know 'im?

.... Oh.

Ah see.

Well, Ah'm sorry fer yehr loss. He seemed like a good man. Very good man. Never lied.

....

Would yeh like some tea? Ah got all kinds. Ah got this kind from this li'l girl from Xing yeh might like. She called it "green tea," but Ah personally think it's more of a yellow, more like th'color yeh get when yeh take a pi—

Eh? Raspberry? Sure, Ah got that. Jus' a minute.

....

Yeh like sugar?

....

Careful, there, 's hot. Taste all right?

Good, good.

Eh, don' mention it, 's least Ah could do.

Well, Ah saw th'Fullmetal Alchemist a few times after that. He'd come in every so often t'turn in more pitchers. Innocent stuff, mos'ly. He an' th'guy with th'armor took lots o' pitchers of each other. Some o' them real nice, some o' them when th'other didn' know there was a camera, and some o' them real goofy. Real hammy sometimes. Heheheh.

Also came in with lots o' pitchers of.... Resembool, yeh said it was called? Guess that musta been it. Same place with the pitchers o' th'Fullmetal an' his family. There was a girl in those. Real pretty thing, light blond hair an' nice blue eyes. Some o' th'pitchers were o' her right here in Central, too. She th'Fullmetal's mechanic er somethin'?

Yeah? Heheheh. She'll be more'n that soon enough. Some o' them pitchers were o' them fightin', er at least that's how it woulda looked t'anyone who don' know flirtin' when they see it. Some o' them pitchers had 'em makin' eyes at each other, too. Every time Ah made those pitchers for 'em, Ah'd see th'Fullmetal slip some o' them in 'is pocket when the guy'n armor ain't lookin'. Heheheh. Good luck to 'im, Ah say. Real pretty thing he got there.

Other'n that, though, didn' see much of 'im. Well, at least not here'n th'store. O' course all the reporters would come in here askin' to develop their pitchers fer the paper, and Ah saw lots o' stories 'bout th'Fullmetal. One guy covered that time in Youswell when he kicked out that corrupt military officer. Was glad t'see 'im doin' some good fer this God-fersaken country. A lucky lady on that train where he stopped that robbery had a camera with her, snapped the whole roll away, and came to get those pitchers made so she could sell 'em to the paper. Heard she got a good deal off that. Saw pitchers of 'im fightin' that Scar character, too. Scary sight. Someone doin' a story on automail caught 'im havin' fights with some Xingese people down'n Rush Valley, then showed how he had t'clean up the mess afterward. Heheheh. Sometimes saw pitchers of 'im in the hospital, but he looked pretty mad t'be caught'n there, so I bet those reporters weren' there for long. Heheheh.

Yeh know, it was real interestin', watchin' that boy grow up year by year. Those pitchers he brought in 'imself, even the goofy ones, they always had some kind o' sadness in 'im. Seemed like he was always jus' hidin' somethin', always pushin' 'imself t'smile. Maybe other people didn' see it, but Ah know it when Ah see it. See it all the time. Ah make pitchers. He was always better in person. Always more sincere. It was when the camera was on 'im, when he knew somebody was watchin', that it seemed like he suddenly remembered he was hidin' somethin'. I guess that's what yeh call over-compensation, maybe. He thought he needed to make up fer somethin' he didn' have, and when it seemed like somebody could find that out, that's when he pushed it.

Which makes it all the more interestin' thinkin' 'bout the pitchers he didn' know were bein' taken, the pitchers other people took. In every one o' them, even the ones with 'im in the hospital, he had a different look 'bout 'im. He wasn't hidin' anythin'. He was strong, he had a fire 'bout 'im. His eyes and body movements told me he was a good boy. A good, strong boy with a good, strong heart, who could bend down t'pet a dog just as well as he could throw a punch, sleep as well as he could run, laugh as well as he could cry. Ah always liked the boy. He could love as well as he could fight, an' that's jus' not somethin' yeh see in too many people, an' Ah always knew it, even if he ain't realized it yet. Even if he showed yeh a different face when he knew somebody was watchin'. Yeh could see his true self when he didn' know yeh were lookin'.

Last Ah saw o' him was when he came in 'bout six months ago, li'l while after that ruckus when th'ol' Fuhrer's government got knocked down. Had some new pitchers o' him and that girl, an' the new kid he brought in.

Eh? Yeah, there was another kid, this one a li'l bit taller'n him, but not much, same color hair an' eyes, maybe a li'l darker, an' the same nose. Looked like they coulda been brothers, so Ah asked if they were. Said they were. He was a good kid, too. Lot like his brother, Ah could tell. Ah asked 'im what happened to the guy'n the armor, and he said they'd parted ways. But they looked so happy 'bout it that Ah didn' figger Ah needed to offer my condolences. Guess Ah don' really know what was goin' on, but Ah know those pitchers Ah made for 'em that day didn' have anythin' hidden in 'em. The smiles were real as rain. Ah was happy 'bout that.

Yeah.

So he's in Resembool now, yeh say? Doin' good?

Good. Glad t'hear it.

But listen to me, talkin' on and on when there's pitchers ready for yeh. Sorry 'bout that. 'Preciate you listenin', though. Yeh'll make a good Fuhrer that way, listenin' to people. Jus' sit tight, Ah'll be back in a jiffy.

....

Here yeh go, Fuhrer.

No, no, these're free. Least Ah could do fer the man who's fin'lly doin' some good fer this country. Ah supported yeh while yeh was attackin' the old Fuhrer, yeh know. Woulda fought with yeh if Ah'd known and was still young enough to swing a sword. That reminds me, though—th'Fullmetal was on yehr side, too, wasn' he? He still in the military?

Eh? Wants to quit?

Oh. Well, that's too bad.

.... Oh.... _Oh_. With _these_ pitchers? These ones right here that Ah just gave you?

Well, Ah guess that _might_ work. They _were_ pretty compromisin' positions he got into with that pretty li'l blond girl. Ah liked the one with the—

Eh? Heheheh. Well, good luck with that, Fuhrer. He seems like the kind o' kid who'd strangle yeh before he'd let those pitchers get out anywhere. 'Specially since he really seems t'care 'bout that girl. Who took those pitchers, anyway?

Eh? Oh! Classified, he says! Hahahaha! Figgers. Yeh make me feel twenny years younger, makin' me yehr accomplice. Always figgered Ah'd make a good private eye if Ah didn' like pitchers so much.

All right, all right. Come again sometime! Look forward t'seein' yeh. Do that paperwork, boy!

Eh? Oh, don' worry, Miss. Yeh don' have t'pologize fer anythin'. He may be th'Fuhrer, an' th'boy may be th'Fullmetal, but boys'll be boys no matter what age they are. Don' worry. He's got a good head on 'is shoulders, after all.

Ah _know_ so. Pitchers can tell yeh anythin'. An' lemme tell yeh—those pitchers that friend o' his in the wheelchair brought to me th'other day weren' the mos' flatterin' Ah seen o' him either. But Ah could still tell. Heh. Bet he 'specially doesn' wan' yeh t'see the way he looks at yeh.

Eh? Heheh! Like Ah said, Miss, everybody's different when they think nobody's lookin', when they ain't puttin' on a face they think the world has t'see. That's where th'truth always is.

Heheheh. Well, at least yeh're even prettier when yeh're that red.

Don' let it get to yeh too much. Like Ah said, boys'll be boys.

Better hurry along, Miss. He's callin' fer yeh.

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**Just another little piece to take a break from my bigger project (which is proving more difficult than I originally thought it would be) without completely turning my brain off. :)**

**I work as a photo tech (and managers' gopher, which is simultaneously a compliment and a curse, but at least it means more money) for a rather well-known drug and retail chain. At my previous store, I formed friendly relations with a few of the more regular customers, and I enjoyed seeing how their lives were going by developing their photos for them. Even the people I didn't really talk to could tell very interesting stories about themselves without saying a word to me directly—there was much to be said from their pictures. I've learned some wonderful (and some scary) things about people this way. I think that's how I came up with this idea.**

**(By the way, **_**no**_**, it's not as if I ever intentionally spied on anyone through their pictures, but since we scan the film into a computer so we can tell it not to print whatever didn't turn out and thus avoid wasting paper, I kind of **_**have**_** to see what the pictures look like.)**

**Anyway, I wasn't trying to give this guy an accent; I was just trying to give him a lazy sort of way of speaking. I hope it worked out all right. I had both of my respectable sisters check over it to make sure it was intelligible and flowed, and they both gave me the thumbs up, so hopefully, they were right. XD**

**I claim to own nothing except this random, nameless old man I made up. I enjoyed writing him. :3**

**As always, reviews and/or constructive criticism are loved!  
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